This week I have been really struggling about trusting God's timing. Why is it so hard for us as "Christians" who proclaim to believe in a loving Savior who saved us by grace to trust that he will protect and deliver us from the trials we worry about? I do not know the answer to that question but I do know I honestly worry about so many different things more than I EVER should.
Today I find myself worrying about things of the future. I am wanting to start Jacksonville's RN to BSN 3 semester online program in the fall and will have to take out a huge student loan to do that. My plan is to start (slowly) working on a Masters Degree after the program because I honestly like school and desire a Master's degree....but here lately I am struggling with even continuing because of the financial burden. I have taken all the classes I need the past two years by paying for it myself, but now the loans come in. I want God to tell me it is worth it and to do it. I have prayed over this topic for several months and feel like I have gotten zero answers. The program starts in less than 2 months, so I find myself wondering why God hasn't spoken to me. I want a loud audible answer. That's where I struggle with God's timing. It's as honest as that.
Today I find myself worrying about things of the future. I am wanting to start Jacksonville's RN to BSN 3 semester online program in the fall and will have to take out a huge student loan to do that. My plan is to start (slowly) working on a Masters Degree after the program because I honestly like school and desire a Master's degree....but here lately I am struggling with even continuing because of the financial burden. I have taken all the classes I need the past two years by paying for it myself, but now the loans come in. I want God to tell me it is worth it and to do it. I have prayed over this topic for several months and feel like I have gotten zero answers. The program starts in less than 2 months, so I find myself wondering why God hasn't spoken to me. I want a loud audible answer. That's where I struggle with God's timing. It's as honest as that.
My prayer today was going to be that I will go throughout this week with my burdens light, but guess what. I think what my prayer should be is for me to realize that my burdens are already lifted! They were lifted when he died for us all on the cross, but sometimes I get so clouded that I forget that. We are walking on this Earth not to die with a Master's Degree and a beautiful home, but to get to Heaven and see the others we have led to Christ.
